Posted on July 18, 2014
I don’t know if my boyfriend and I will ever have a child. Sometimes we will joke and pretend that we are trying to get pregnant or that I stopped taking my birth control. Come on – that is kinda funny!
The more I think about it, my dream would be for my man and I to do the Neil Patrick Harris route and use two embryos and a surrogate. Science these days is so incredible. What a darling family!
Perhaps it is because my lady pals are rubbing off on me. Some of my single girlfriends have been complaining about their biological clocks ticking.
I don’t know how factual this is but through many hours of gossip sessions, I have concluded that men these days are not interested in getting wifed up or having kids like back in the old days. Think about your grandparents and parents, they got hitched super early and busted out babies at record speed. That does not appear to be happening these days.
Going back to babies, I had the pleasure to fly home to Arizona to help out my sister and brother-in-law. A couple weeks ago, they had a precious little girl and are also the parents to a beautiful 3 year old. Two girls – talk about being in #Guncle heaven!!! I could not wait to get off the plane and see them!
#1.) You Can’t Sleep In
I could not believe how early kids get up! Don’t they know how amazing it is to sleep in??? I am also shocked on how energetic they are in the morning. It really made me think about how dependent I am on coffee. Maybe we all have this same amount of morning energy and don’t even know it!! If you want kids, be prepared to change your alarm clock.
The voices of some of the characters on these children shows will drive you a little nuts-o. You will eventually start memorizing the songs and become obsessed with the story lines.
Going outside of the home with your child is not as easy as it seems. You have to pack a bag that would put Mary Poppins to shame. It is basically a baby survivor kit in case shit goes down (literally).
I dont’ know if I watched too many Dateline and 20/20 specials but I watch my niece like a Secret Service Agent. There are some creeps out there! Keep your eyes on your kids and always protect them.
I found that people in public were so much more friendlier to me when I was with my niece. Maybe it was just her (yep, probably was) but it was pretty interesting! People opened doors, they smiled, they came up and to talked to us, and even offered to take our picture.
Here we are getting mani and pedi’s! You should never stop pampering yourself.
I was so impressed with Barnes & Noble. They had a great book selection, reading area and toy section. We bought this darling dress-up doctors outfit from there. It is made by a company called, Melissa & Doug (http://www.melissaanddoug.com). SO FUN!
You basically need to plan your day around lunch and nap time because kids are in a much better mood when they are fed and rested. Who isn’t, right?!
Kids have a big imaginations so you must think out of the box. If you get stumped than take them somewhere where they can interact, think and learn. We went to the Phoenix Zoo and had a blast!
These summer months can be HOT especially if you live in the warmer states. Make sure your kid drinks plenty of water and wears sunscreen. Praise the Lord for the spray-on kind.
Kids love to ask questions and their little brains are like sponges so be prepared with a good answer. I never knew how little I knew about animals, the solar system and dinosaurs until I started hanging around my 3 year old niece.
You have to be selfless. I honor all the moms and dads in the world because it takes a lot of adjusting. Your kids come first.
I may not be a parent but I would do anything for my nieces. Each time I spend with them is a learning experience and an eye opener into the world of raising children. It seems that having kids is a lot of work but I believe it is the greatest gift of all.
The Other Hubby
Posted on July 12, 2014
Posted on July 12, 2014
Anything passed the double digits means he is looking for some late night lovin. If that is what you want too than go for it BUT don’t expect him to make you breakfast in the morning.
Did you meet a guy online or out at the club and still have not gone on a date? Don’t you find that odd? If the only time you see each other is under the sheets than it is time for you to wake up and smell what is really going on.
If a guy wants to call you his girlfriend than he will show you off to all his buddies. If you are only his mistress of the night than he will keep you hidden and only brag to his pals about your late night romps.
For all you city girls, this one is for you. If your man only calls you in the evenings and makes you taxi it over to his place than I think that is a signal you are a booty call. A true gentleman will be considerate by picking you up or at least offering to pay for your taxi.
Read between the “I’m so horny” and “what are you wearing.”
You just KNOW when a guy is into you on a LOVE level. Pay attention to his body language, words and the way he makes you feel. A man is supposed to make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the room, not the easiest piece of ass.
If you are constantly feeling disappointed because he promises you the world and never delivers than it is time to CUT THE CORD!
If he gives you that random excuse on why you can’t stay the night than he does not want to see you in the morning. You do not deserve that! Your man should at least be buying you a Starbucks the next day.
After seeing a guy for over a month and he never refers to the two of you as dating than perhaps it is time you move on.
This is the oldest trick in the book. A guy will jokingly call you his “booty call” to see how you react OR slyly make you aware of how he does not want a relationship. Don’t fall for his playful bullshit.
The Other Hubby
Posted on July 10, 2014
Relationships and marriage can be a full time job all on its own. Sadly, some fall into the danger zone and turn into breakups.
I have seen too many of my girlfriends cry with frustration because one day they wake up and realize that their love life is floating in the toilet.
One of the questions that I ask my gal pals is, “how did you and your hubby/boyfriend end up in this spot?” Most of the time, they are simply unaware of how their relationship deteriorated while others think back to some red flag moments.
Everyone needs validation from their other half. It gives both parties that secure feeling on the inside and that little boost of confidence and self respect. If your man comes home from work and only says hello to the dog than you’ve got an issue.
Nothing says “SHADY” more than when a guy puts a password on his phone and refuses to give it to you. I think all phones should have passwords (for security purposes) but not allowing your wife/girlfriend to have access to it is fucking weird. He should trust you well enough to not dig through his phone like a psycho but just to have the freedom if need be.
A bunch of little lies only means he his hiding one big lie. Trust is one of the golden layers that helps build a solid relationship foundation.
Anger stems from other emotions so if you and your guy can’t communicate on a civil level than I suggest you figure out what is the root to the REAL problem. Why is the yelling and screaming necessary? Perhaps a therapist or mediator needs to jump in to get the two of you back on track.
I can totally understand if your hubby is running late from work a couple times a week (traffic can suck and shit comes up), BUT if this happens the MAJORITY of the time than I would ask him what’s really going on. Note: This does not mean he is cheating on you but he may be avoiding you for one reason or another.
Facebook can add a crap load of drama when it comes to relationships. If your man is private messaging other chicks or liking her pics than he needs a major reality check. There should be a big line drawn when it comes to opposite sex interaction online.
If he skips out on your birthday, anniversary or does not want to participate in family events than it is safe to say his head is somewhere else.
Your man should never pick apart your appearance or makes stupid jokes about the way you look. If he does this than he is suffering from his own insecurities.
The most controlling people are the ones who DON’T have control of their own life. Stand up for yourself and don’t let anybody boss you around.
If you man constantly turns you down in the bedroom than that is a strong signal something else is brewing in his head.
The Other Hubby
Posted on July 7, 2014
Today I thought about my friend Bridgette.
She is one of those friends that really left a footprint on my soul.
I have sat on my balcony picturing the 19 year old me and the 24 year old her hanging out at the hair salon where we use to work. Her eccentric style, short curly hair and loud voice echoed wherever she was. During the first year of our friendship, I had just recently come out of the closet. Being around Bridgette use to make me so nervous at first, her confidence was too much for me and she always said exactly what was on her mind. I remember a specific instance when she told me I needed to change the way I dressed. My tucked in Gap button down, khakis and belt was simply not cutting it.
She would sneak me into these nightclubs where they played electronic/house music and where the DJ was the biggest star of the night. Bridgette was one of those girls that danced like nobody else was in the room, so smooth and so intriguing. I loved the way she danced.
I was inspired to create my own clothes and live a life without thinking about anybody judging me. I use to safety pin my jeans and design t-shirts that I had cut up myself. My hair also had it’s own personality. It was wild, big, and spiky – I used it as a way to express myself.
There were many nights where we would go to the gay bar (partly because we knew I could get in!). Bridgette had introduced me to some of her friends hoping I would meet new people like me. Sadly, these guys did not take an immediate liking to me. They said sassy comments behind my back and were not welcoming in the least. It was hurtful at first but Bridgette stood by my side and told me to never change who I am.
As that year went on, life began to get rocky for Bridgette. Her iron solid confidence started to break and her love for drugs started to grow. I slowly saw my friend turn a dangerous corner into codependency and darkness. This was one of the first times I experienced someone so close to me go through such a downward spiral.
Bridgette disappeared for months on end. I had not heard from her until one day she showed up on my doorstep. There were scabs all over her face and her skinny frame appeared so frail. At that moment, I knew I really lost her.
As some of you may know, being a friend or giving advice to an addict is challenging. There is no rule book on how to love a drug user.
Today, I am so happy and grateful to share that Bridgette is getting professional treatment. I am so proud of her and admire her in a whole new way. I know we will be dancing in her living room again very soon.
Understanding how to deal with a friend’s addiction is flat out difficult. Here are some tips that I learned (and continue to learn) from the experience I had with my friend. I hope you find them helpful and that the person you love finds the strength to get better.
If you notice your friend going down the wrong road than speak up and say something (when they are sober). Tell him/her that you don’t like the way you are being treated or the position you are being placed in.
Don’t always agree to bail your friend out, go to the bar, go gambling, etc. You don’t want to feed into toxic behavior.
Love is the most powerful emotion (to me at least) but learning how to care for an addicted friend needs to be done with balance. You want to show your support but also know when to say “no.” Whether you are being asked for money, or always feeling obligated – learn the skill and assertiveness when you want to say “yes” or “no.”
Read about addiction and support groups. The more you know the better.
No matter what you do, please know you do not have the powers to change an addict. They have to want to change themselves.
#6.) Is An Intervention Needed?
These are some helpful websites to consider.
#7.) Don’t Be Manipulated
Addicts or people that suffer from a type of codependency can be the most tactful manipulators. Stay strong and don’t let them have their way when you know in your heart they are lying to you.
I found a lot of strength talking to God and finding some form of understanding with my friend’s situation. The man upstairs is the best listener.
Addiction is a disease. Don’t let your friend’s self destruction destroy you too. Take care of yourself and know it is OK to walk away.
It is easier said than done but focus on all the other happy parts of your life. Be around positive people, family and others that support your dreams and goals. Don’t lose touch with reality.
The Other Hubby
Posted on July 5, 2014
Praise the Lord for long weekends and that Southern California weather!
The sun was not the only thing heating up in LA ! Check out all my recent hot spots and highlights from a very sizzling weekend.
You know I really appreciate a good haircut! I was so happy with my experience at the Public Service Salon in West Hollywood. Hair stylist, Miles, gave me a tight fade and fresh new look! What do you think?
It would not be an adventure if food was not involved, right?? You may know the popular LA based chef, Roy Choi, for his mouth watering Kogi Food Trucks but his latest restaurant, POT (don’t let the name scare ya), located inside The Line Hotel is creating even more of a buzz. From spicy crab soup, ramen noodles, fried rice, crisp potato pancakes to juicy meats, the menu is full of flavorful and well priced Korean dishes. I also really dug the decor and the super cool staff. Make sure you treat yourself to a meal at POT – your taste buds will be dancing all night!
One of the many reasons why California is so flippin awesome is that you can travel 25 minutes away and feel like you are in a whole other world. That is exactly what we did on Friday, we ventured out to the Pacific Palisades neighborhood to take part in all the holiday festivities. I have always been obsessed with the Pacific Palisades. I love the the small town vibe, white picket fences, gorgeous homes, clean streets, green lawns and the fact it is just a mile to the beach. Every 4th of July, the Palisades throws a spectacular firework show at night and a little parade during the day. I am so grateful that we got to be a part of it this year. Check out all the chairs that were lined up early in the morning.
#4.) A Beautiful Beach Day
Later that day, we set up camp at the Will Rogers Beach Park located just down the road from the Palisades. It was such a lovely day with sunny blue skies and a gentle breeze. Here is a peek at some of my pics. Hope you are a fan of neon too!! HA!
As the sun went down, we cozied up in our hoodies and blankets and waited for the fireworks to shoot off over the Pacific Ocean.
Fireworks make me so happy! Last night’s show was cool but this video is INCREDIBLE!! Thanks to YouTube user Jos Stiglingh (and his drone), we can all watch this magical fireworks show up close and personal!
I hope you weekend was as special as mine.
Wishing you a fantastic day!
The Other Hubby
Posted on July 2, 2014
This red, white and blue holiday brings out the best BBQ food, pool parties and sexy babes. Now, before you start poppin off those fireworks, let’s go over all the do’s and don’ts to make sure your Independence Day goes off with a bang!!
Since we are celebrating the US of A, I think every girl should show some type of tribute to our lovely country. The key is to not go all “Betsy Ross” on us but to show off the American flag colors (and stars!) in a fashionable way. Whether it is a cool accessory, vintage tank or kick ass leggings – bust out your patriotism with a good sense of style. PS. I found this oversized tank at American Apparel – you can totally cut it up and customize it to your liking.
The 4th of July can bring out the biggest summer parties of the year. Gather a group of your favorite friends, head to the beach, lake, pool or somewhere cool and crack open a cold one! Celebrate our fabulous country around the people you love.
Now is your time to show off your “secret” Pinterest recipes! Bring a dish that will have your peeps talkin and wanting more. You NEVER want to come to a party empty handed so kindly ask your host what they prefer you to bring. If you simply can’t cook than bring a refreshing bottle of Miraval Rosé – which was developed by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at their 1,200-acre vineyard in France. For just $24 bucks (available at Whole Foods), you will have a neat conversation starter and a generous thank you gift.
Did you know that listening and singing along to music boosts your positivity?! Create your very own “4th of July Mix” and turn up the tunes baby!
#5.) Do Mingle & Be Social
If you are single and invited to a BBQ than make an extra effort to connect with new people. You never know if Mr. Right will be there too. Bring out your friendly and approachable vibe and loosen up! Maybe there will be an unexpected firework show at the end of your night (wink, wink!).
Please don’t be one of those girls who drinks too many margaritas and ends up in the pool screaming for everyone to come join. Get yourself together! Have a couple cocktails and don’t get so sloppy.
The Other Hubby