Friends Till The End

11056047_800202323390076_139544484_nA best friend should…..

Make you smile without saying a word.

Cheer you up with a simple phone call.

Neve judge you.

Love you unconditionally.

Encourage you.

Make you think.

Consider you family.

Inspire you.

Always be there.

Be low maintenance.

Have your back.

Understand.

Remind you of the old times.

Bring out the best in you.

xo

The Other Hubby

Insecurity & Relationships

heart_01_litA few of my friends are going through dating troubles and I could not help to wonder why such gorgeous girls (both inside and out) struggle in finding and keeping love.

finalI’ve had many talks with them to try and get to the core of the issue but I started to figure out that their biggest hurdle is their lack of inner happiness and insecurity in relationships.

insecurity1These girls have great lives, good families and can hold their own when it comes to work and socializing but crazy enough, they go weak when it comes to men.

Insecurity can be so incredibly hard to overcome because it is something that brews deep inside a person.

Thousands of people can tell a girl she looks beautiful but if she does not feel it herself, than those words just evaporate.

So, the question is how does one work on becoming confident when it comes to relationships?

I brainstormed some points that I think might help with a situation like this.

1.) Get Out Of Your Head

I think a lot of insecure people live in their heads. They are overwhelmed with worry and concern what others think of them. The less you give a shit what anybody else thinks and focus more on your own self assurance – the better. You should not worry about what others think of your relationship, what matters is the happiness between you and your new boyfriend.

bench2.) Stop Creating Chaos

A relationship will never last if you are searching for something bad to happen. That is self destruction at its finest. You need to let go of the fear and guide your mind into a place of peace. Each time you think of a crazy thought, try and bring it back to a place of happiness. Don’t be the girl that looks for trouble. It will get you no where and drive your boyfriend away.

tumblr_mj9kmntxF81qcsk9zo1_5003.) Leave The Past Behind

Your past does not define who you are so if there are bad breakups that haunt you, I strongly suggest you put those feelings to bed before diving into anything new. It is not fair to your guy or your new relationship that you constantly compare them with troubled old times.

shutterstock_1470178224.) Don’t Complain About Your Looks

Focus on the good in you and don’t pick at what you consider to be “flaws.” Own your look and know that insecurity is something nobody can physically see so stop brining it to the surface. Surround yourself with people that make you feel strong and change your negative mindset about your appearance. Train your brain to think with confidence.

tumblr_mfj3tajCEe1rvbnyoo1_500You are deserve happiness.

I’ll say it one more time.

YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS.

xo

The Other Hubby

Puppies

If you have been online today than you probably noticed it is “National Puppy Day.”

It is also Monday so if you want to add cute puppies into the mix, I am all for it!

Since, I don’t have a dog – I thought I’d share this video of some adorable little pups.

This should make your day so much more better.

Maybe it is time we all buy a furry friend.

xo

The Other Hubby

Howard & Madge

madonna-rolling-stone-2015-1000x600This has been an eventful week for all Madonna fans.

The Queen has been hitting the promotional tour hard for her new album, Rebel Heart, and stopping by the biggest media outlets.

Yes, including Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show!

Here are some highlights from the juicy convo.

xo

The Other Hubby

Ready, Set, Go!

Are you ready to start this week out right?

11024437_1559656217638009_1740076114_nGet your mind in focus and concentrate on your daily goals.

Eat well.

Exercise.

Be productive.

Surround yourself with kindness.

xo

The Other Hubby

Another Trip To Norway

11050695_323652391115032_5666760938877882433_nI have been traveling to Norway for years now and each time I go back, I feel more and more relaxed being away from the comfort of my own home. My boss, colleagues and friends obviously all play a special part in that, but I must give credit to beautiful essence that Norway naturally gives off when you step off the plane. 

eu-map-final_01-Norway_overWith a population of over 5 million and being rated by Forbes as one of the richest countries in the world, it should be no surprise to travelers that Norway has an immediate lush, luxury, yet humble first impression.

79037-katy-perry-OH-MY-GOD-gif-bGuNThe weather this time of year is chilly but nothing a sexy and fashionable winter jacket won’t fix.

FullSizeRenderBesides, the white snow and breathtaking landscape is all part of the Norwegian package. 

FullSizeRender copy 3Here are some pics from my recent trip to the land of vikings.

FullSizeRender copy FullSizeRender copy 2 FullSizeRenderColorful downtown Oslo…

10986027_412908458880499_1637541813_n 11005271_1556727867939905_1580601866_n FullSizeRender-5FullSizeRender copyAnd, yes – I even found a Starbucks…

FullSizeRender copy 5 FullSizeRender…which is maybe why I was so happy right here…

11033046_432858350172658_1047162083_n…But coffee or no coffee, Norway makes you smile! Watch this video and see for yourself (warning: video may cause happiness)…

Was I right, or was I right? 

IMG_5716All good trips must come to an end though….

11024338_652351814868909_1409022044_nSo, if you need me – I’ll be right at home sleeping off this jet lag dreaming of Norway!

11032785_661887303937663_2076550268_nxo

The Other Hubby

Owning Your Words

Through all the years of growing up, I tried hard to be a positive person. Like with most of you out there, life has not always been easy, and at times that was very challenging. But more than that, I learned that there is a difference between being a positive person and pretending I am always happy to please other people.

My childhood was when I went through some of the most difficult times. I was constantly in a mind game with myself to try and focus my thoughts on being happy even though what was going on around me and in my own head felt like the complete opposite. In the fifth grade, I was given the nickname “Smiley,” as I always had a big smile on my face. I was showing everyone my happy exterior, but on the inside I battled with my confidence, sense of self, and knowing that I was just different from the other boys in my class.

As the years went on and I got older, I continued to hide my true feelings even more. One of the many reasons was that I did not completely understand what was going on in my own mind. Coming to terms with being gay and finding your own identity is not the easiest thing to do. You go through all kinds of emotions including the back-and-forth denial and the feeling that something is wrong with you. At such an early age when you feel different, you feel vulnerable. And when you feel vulnerable, you don’t feel safe. It is not a good place to be in.

Part of me also had an issue with telling my parents and other relatives what was going on because I did not want to disappoint them, and I did not want to bring what I thought was extra “problems” onto them. It was almost like I wanted to show them that I was always happy so they did not have to be concerned or deal with any extra worry.

I have since realized that I was very much what they call a people pleaser. Making sure others were feeling happy over my own emotions was very much a part of my make up. One small example I remember during junior high was when my grandfather gave me a cool new jacket, which I wore to school the following day. One of the older kids in a higher grade came up to me and asked if he could wear it that entire day. Part of me was probably scared of what he would do if I had said no, but the other part did not even think to not say no. I gave him my jacket. I felt like such a fool, so weak and deflated after doing that.

This may resonate with some of you, especially if you have a tough time expressing how you really feel or doing what you really want to do. Perhaps that is because you don’t want to hurt other people, or you want other people to be in a good mood, even if that affects you negatively. This carried on with me, even when I was older and working at E! News. I was so serious and focused on making my boss happy in any way that I could, that it consumed every last bit of me. It made me feel like I was excelling in my career to one degree but, at the same time, it was draining me.

During this time, one of my dear friends at E! asked me during our work day if I could run with him quickly to grab a cup coffee. I remember thinking he was crazy and kindly telling him I did not have the time. He looked at me straight in the eyes and basically told me that “I needed to get a life,” as everybody is allowed to get a break from time to time. I was so hard on myself and engulfed in being overly available at work that taking time to grab coffee seemed like a luxury. His words really stuck with me, and I began to reflect about the way I was thinking.

I started to ask myself, “What do I want?” “How do I feel?” “What do I deserve?” That was when I came to a crossroad in my life and made the decision to change. Since then, I have realized that it is so important to take your own feelings into consideration and speak up no matter what the circumstance.

I don’t know why it took me so long to find my own voice, but it feels so good to say what you mean and mean what you say. The first few times I was able to say, “No, thank you,” to something I did not really want to do felt incredibly liberating. Now, I am very conscious of my feelings and very aware of the difference between being a positive person and pretending everything is OK when it’s not. I now live with the mission that “yes” really does mean yes, and “no” really does means no. It is that simple.

If you find it difficult to speak your mind or feel pressured into making a decision, please know that it is always appropriate to take time to digest your own thoughts and feelings before giving an answer. Whether it is something as small as committing to weekend plans, or something big like what the next move you want to make in a relationship or career is, always be aware that you are in control. You are the owner of your words, and nobody is allowed to take that from you.

Stay Strong & God Bless.

Matt Jacobi (Your Other Hubby)

Repost from my article on MariaShriver.com 

Click here to read more!

http://mariashriver.com/blog/2015/03/speak-your-mind-tips-matt-jacobi/

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