Posted on April 21, 2014
When you have a bestie like my gal pal, Michelle (that is known to be a “Pinterest Princess”), you can expect to have the kind of Easter that is full of delicious food, egg hunts, decorations, signature drinks and lots of laughter.
Yes, being away from family during any holiday can be a real bummer but when you have a group of friends that treat you like family, all your thoughts turn to happiness, celebration and R-E-L-A-X-A-T-I-O-N! Can I get an AMEN to that?!
May I please also add that living in Los Angeles brings lots of sunny days but nothing makes you feel more grateful than enjoying a yummy meal outside in such beautiful weather (with a great cocktail!).
The Other Hubby
Posted on April 20, 2014
Posted on April 16, 2014
One of my all time favorite quotes I heard Madonna say in her documentary, I’m Going to Tell You a Secret. The film was released back in 2006 and gives an in-depth look at the singer’s life, her marriage, her religion, and her children. It has great visuals and messages that make you THINK!
During the film Madonna asked, “what was I thinking before I was thinking?” I had to meditate on that for a moment. There was something about that line that made my brain click because at least one time in our lives, we all have thought, “what the hell was I thinking?!”
It is interesting how the mind can be so powerful that our levels of consciousness or subconsciousness can take over and run wild. Our first initial thoughts, decisions, and reactions can be a negative way to deal with a challenge so it is important to find peace within before you come to a conclusion.
I have listed a few situations that most of you have probably dealt with at one point or another. Take a peak at how I think you can bring your mind back to center and put a stop to all that extra “noise.”
1. Boyfriend and Girlfriend Breakup
No matter how long a couple has been dating, the end to a romantic relationship can bring on nasty fights. Whether it be a cheating scandal or one not wanting to commit, a breakup can leave the other person feeling like the world has ended. Often, the first reaction is the shock, than the pride kicks in, than comes the anger, followed by sadness. The question is, how should one react when something so shitty happens? There is no easy answer but one of the best ways to handle oneself is – let yourself be human. It is OK to be upset, to be angry and to cry but during the days following your break up, you should surround yourself with a support team like friends/family that will just listen. You may wake up one day and feel totally fine while other days you won’t feel like getting out of bed. The key is to keep your life moving and not dive to far into a state of depression. Yes, it is easier said than done but the more you switch your emotions into taking care of yourself, and putting ENERGY into your other life goals the happier you will feel. The more you concentrate on YOU and lifting yourself UP, the more you will start to heal your heart. During this process, you should start to get some CLARITY that should bring some form of peace to the breakup. Did you enter the relationship knowing he was the wrong guy? Did you ignore any red flags? Why did you choose a boyfriend like him in the first place? Were you both ready to be in a relationship? I understand that breaking up with your boyfriend is dramatic, but you have to remember that for whatever reason – it was just not meant to be. Avoid going into victim mode and use this life shakeup to better yourself.
2. Dealing with a Family Fight
Why is it that we tend to fight most with the people that are related to us? That is a loaded question to say the least and each family has their own dynamic, make up and DNA. Whatever the reason is for a fight, you must sit back and ask your self; what is the core to the problem that is causing all this chaos? Taking a moment to gather all your thoughts and see BOTH sides of the story can lead to a resolution. At the end of the day, if you are wanting to find peace than it is important to use the correct language and be open to C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N. When it comes to family drama, resolving a fight is not always black and white and the only option may be for both parties to agree to disagree (AND MOVE ON!). Obviously, not everyone is going to like each other but there is still a level of respect and kindness that should stay consistent among family members. Being the better person does not always mean “giving in” but rather stepping back and being aware of the situation at hand. If there are toxic people in your family that cause nothing but problems than distance yourself and protect your own boundaries. Don’t expect people to automatically change (especially if there are some deep rooted issues) but make sure you keep your side of the street clean. Avoid being critical, judgmental or saying anything that is going to stir up an argument. Having a civil conversation is much easier than what you think. If you have already reached out to the family member you are in a tiff with and you both can’t come to a mutual sense of forgiveness than at least you can find calmness in your heart that you tried.
3. Coping with Friendship Drama
How many of you out there have found yourself feeling so disappointed in a friend that you wanted to completely cut it off? I have figured out that the higher your expectation you have in a friendship – the bigger the disappointment! Although, it is important to embrace your gal pals and create an endless bond, don’t make it your job. Friendships should be organic, fulfilled and full of laughter. Loosen up and don’t take everything so personally! Try to avoid being high maintenance and not to overreact when things don’t go your way. If you are in a huge fight with your friend and you want to move forward, meet face to face. Sending a text message or secret coded post on your Facebook wall will do absolutely NOTHING! Pick up the phone, set a date and talk it out. If your friendship is worth it (to the both of you) than it should be easily repairable.
The Other Hubby
Posted on April 15, 2014
Posted on April 12, 2014
The word “selfie” has created a lot of buzz these days and no matter if you are a selfie lover or hater, you have to admit it has made its mark in the world. I guess you can say that the rise of selfies first started when forward-facing cameras on smartphones hit stands. After I bought my first iPhone I was obsessed with it and have been hooked ever since. The iPhone camera has such great quality, it kicked my digital camera to the curb. Now, with the popularity of Instagram, Tumblr, and other photo-friendly sites you can use your camera to document anything and everything (including your face). In just an arms length, you can create the perfect self portrait for all your friends and family to “like,” share, or comment on! Whether you are sporting a new haircut or just feel like showing off a smile, #selfies have taken social media by storm and are here to stay.
The question of the day is; how do you take the perfect selfie?
Check out my tips on what makes a successful selfie!
1.) Find the right angle.
I have found that having your arm positioned straight and lifted right above your eye level will help compliment your shot just right. The further you are able to hold the camera away from your face the better because than you have opportunity to zoom in and crop to make a superb shot!
Your selfie should never be blurry so keep your wobbly hand still to prevent it from making your mug look totally off.
Lighting is everything. You should take your picture with the sunlight hitting your face and if you can capture the beauty of natural lighting against your skin – BRAVO! Back lighting tends to show weird shadows and won’t highlight the features that make a good selfie (which brings me to my next tip).
Tyra Banks said it well when she taught the world how to #smize with your eyes. Smizing is a technique that involves smiling through using your eyes and the best way to do that is to give your eyes some personality (sexy, sassy, flirty, curious, etc).
Another key in taking the best selfie is to either have bright eyes or a bright smile. You don’t want to have a huge teethy grin and crazy-smize eyes so balance one feature with another.
There are all kinds of fun apps with photo filters so use them to your advantage! As long as you don’t over-filter your pic than all will be good in selfie land.
I’ll see you on Instagram! You can follow me @MattJacobi !
The Other Hubby
Posted on April 11, 2014
1.) Earth Day, April 22nd
I have not hugged a tree in awhile but I should because Earth Day is celebrated this month. On April 22nd, events are held worldwide to demonstrate support for the place we call home. Did you know it was first celebrated in 1970, and is now celebrated in more than 192 countries each year!
This weekend kicks off The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival’s annual two-weekend, three-day extravaganza held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California. Thousands of music lovers and hipsters flock to get their dose of live performances (and great people watching!).
When I was young chap, my mother would create the most wonderful Easter baskets for my brother, sisters and I. They were topped off with all sorts of treats, candy and colorful trinkets. Each piece of candy was perfectly placed onto the plastic green grass that filled our baskets. I remember how special she made this day and how fun it was of us to search through the house for colorful eggs. Yesterday, my boyfriend asked me if this year we were planning on indulging in our favorite Easter treat – REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER EGGS? That decision is still to be determined since we’ve been so good at cutting sugar out of our diet (maybe he can have just one, HA!).
In some parts of the world towards the end of April, you can start busting out your gardening tools and bring back some color to your yard! Warm-season flowers and vegetable seeds can start to be seeded in well prepared soil so feel free to get your hands dirty! Also, if you are a big fan of cherry blossoms, you will definitely appreciate this month even more as their lovely pink color begins to bloom.
Many high school and college students will be rejoicing because this time of year brings on spring break. For all my younger readers, I know you are LOVING this (BE SAFE!!!).
Need I say more? Goodbye heavy clothing!
The Other Hubby
(Follow @MattJacobi on Instagram & Twitter)
Posted on April 11, 2014
Entering your thirties brings on some weird shit. Some may call it “growing up” (whatever) while others say it is the time when you start to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Besides, those wild years during your twenties are meant for mistakes, late-night parties, experimenting, figuring out your goals, and creating friendships. I like to believe that during this era of unforgettable fun is when you meet unforgettable friends. Sure, you have the potential to make friends at anytime of your life but your twenties involve a period when your mind is more open and perhaps even a little less guarded.
Once the big 3-0 comes around, you may start to see a slight change in the friendships that you considered to be the strongest. It does not mean something “negative” is going to happen but the dynamic between you and the gal pals you once danced on top of tables with till the wee hour of the morning will probably go through some kind of a transformation.
The older that you get the more your priorities change. What you wanted when you were 21 is going to be much different from what you will want at 31, what you considered to be “a fun time” will be a hell of a lot different the higher you climb up the age ladder.
Remember, I am not at all saying life becomes less exciting and that you will lose all your friends, but I am saying to be prepared to see a shift in the energy of your friendships the older that you get. The key is not to have a sensitivity chip on the matter and to make sure you have a clear understanding on the simple mindset that it is all just a part of life (you don’t even have to call it “getting older,” it is just what happens).
For all you lovely ladies trying to figure out why the relationship between you and your best friend feels off, here are a few points to help clear your mind and bring your thoughts to peace.
1.) Your BFF falls in love. This is one of the biggies when it comes to a switch up in the energy of your friendship. True love, real love, and falling in love is a powerful emotion that so many girls long for the whole life. When your bestie finally finds her Prince Charming, she is going to want to make sure she keeps him! Does that mean you will be spending less time with her? Yes. Does that mean she is going to talk non-stop about him? Yes. Does that mean he is going to be the only thing on her mind? Yes, and guess what? You should be supportive.
2.) She starts having kids. When your Saturday night plans turn into Sunday baby shower’s, you know that there is a tidal wave change in the friendship waters. What use to be talks of hunky hook-ups turns into what area has the best school system, is when ya can confirm that the Best Friend has baby on the brain. This can be devastating because there are some chicks out there in the world that just don’t like children. Having to go to lunch with an infant and the girl you use to play beer pong with can be a total mind fuck. Don’t panic. Pregnancy and having little ones is a HUGE life changer – can you imagine what you your friend is going through? Not only has her entire universe changed so has her body and any form of personal time. The fact that she is able to carve out time to spend with you really does mean she appreciates your friendship. Instead of complaining that your BF is now a mother, why not show her some support. The GOOD news is that kids go to bed early so there is plenty of time for wine nights and gossip sessions. She’ll love hearing about all the trouble you have gotten into while she’s been playing mommy.
3.) She moves away. Growing up in the same city as your bestie means that you have spent an abundance of time together. Like many girls looking to create a new life, your bestie may have left the coop in search for a man, new job, or fresh look on life. Don’t feel abandoned or like she left you behind, the positive part about a friend moving away is that you now have a place to visit! She may even inspire YOU to leave the comfort of home too (which I totally think everyone should do at least once in their life!). If your BF now lives on the other side of the world or a couple states away than take advantage of FaceTime, Skype and social media. You can now be connected with your favorite pal in more ways than one by just looking down at your phone.
4.) She no longer wants to party. I remember when my best friend started this whole new health kick, it drove me nuts in the beginning. All she talked about was the gym, turkey burgers, apples and her bullshit trainer. I seriously thought, “Oh God, another phase.” The weirdness started to happen when she told me she cut out drinking. Wine nights at her apartment in Chicago was when we would bond the most, talk about the future and create weird dance moves. After sulking in my own head, I figured if I could not change her mind, I might as well join her. The gym in not for everybody but exercising in some fashion everyone should do!! Taking a time off from alcohol is not the worst thing in the world either, especially when our bodies don’t look like our twenty-something selves. Although your pal may sound super annoying at first, take a minute and try some of her new activities – you never know, you may just LOVE it (and a bottle of wine will always be waiting for you at home).
5.) You hate her new friends. During our journey into adulthood, we are going to meet exciting new peeps that remind us of our O.G. friends back at home. This tends to happen during our first year away at college or starting at a new job, etc. If you feel like your BF has replaced you with her “oh-so-cool” new buds than think again! You can never be replaceable and nothing will ever erase the memories and history that bond you together. One of the most incredible parts of life is meeting new people. They can enrich your mind and make you experience different adventures that you never thought of doing before. My advice to you, is to stop being so possessive and join the club of meeting new faces.
Friendship is like any other kind of relationship, it takes two people to make it work so don’t get all down in the dumps if you feel like you and your bestie are not as close or growing apart. Life is a roller coaster full of ups, downs and everything in between so do your best to be the greatest friend out there, check in with each other, and don’t take things too personally.
One of the many beauties of life is meeting friends that turn into family. They’re not going anywhere so just relax.
The Other Hubby
(Follow @MattJacobi on Instagram & Twitter)