My friend Renee called me in a complete panic yesterday and now I feel like it would be so helpful if I share this insanely funny story with you (just in case you find yourself in this very embarrassing situation). Renee has been casually dating this guy named Marcus for under a month now. Marcus is a clean cut doctor in New York City and lives on the Upper East side in his ever so stylish bachelor pad. He is what a single girl would consider “husband material.” He is clean cut, has a good family, masculine, sporty but not douche bag sporty and smart. Things between Renee and Marcus have been going so well that Renee often spends the night at his house and to top it off, they have incredible sex together. All was going smoothly in the dating department until this past weekend when a total bomb went off (literally!). While Renee laid naked in the wee morning hours on Sunday as Marcus spooned her ever so tightly, Renee let out a fart. Yes…she farted on Marcus.
The good news, is that Marcus did not react and laid there sleeping (at least she hopes).
After I finished laughing at my poor friend, I thought what is a girl to do when this happens?
I would say she needs to do the following depending on the situation:
a.) Own It!
If your man heard your fart and there is no one else in the room (or pet for that matter), than you have to suck it up and apologize. Guys don’t think that girls fart, they just can’t put the two together so make sure it does not happen again.
b.) Drown Out The Sound!
If you catch yourself letting one loose, try and make some noise (cough, bang on something) to drown out the sound.
c.) Be Preventative!
If you are in the first dating stages, try and prevent yourself from getting into gassy situations. Don’t go out to dinner and chow down on heavy foods (that are going to upset your stomach) and follow it up with a night of sex at his place. There will come a time in your relationship when you both are able to say, “I ate too much and don’t feel well” which means “stay at your place tonight!”