Posted on January 14, 2017
I’m not one to shy away from planning personal goals months in advance. Strategizing, outlining and checking off boxes is mainly for my own peace of mind more than anything else. However, I’ve learned that telling yourself what tomorrow holds is usually a waste of time. Destiny has a funny — or shall I say amusing — way of taking hold of well-thought ideas and shaking life up like a snow globe.
So, I got to thinking about this past year and the roller coaster ride it has been for many people. The election brought our year to a dramatic close in many ways, but it also made each of us check in with ourselves, our desires, our morals, and our wants and dreams for the future. With that shiny bright number “2017” at the forefront of our minds, I know most of us are ready to start with a clean slate.
Before you start posting about your New Year’s resolutions, booking that trainer, meal prepping, updating your resume or creating that vision board, I challenge you to dive a bit deeper into your soul and think about the word “accountability.”
My experience in moving forward in life has a lot to do with taking accountability for my own actions, life decisions and personal choices. You see, if you look at your life as a blank canvas and yourself as the painter choosing which colors to create the perfect picture, you either consciously choose colors you know will turn out to be beautiful or just randomly start dipping your brush into your palette and hope your abstract motions make sense. Whichever way you go about making your work of art come to life, once you are finished, you must take ownership and hold yourself accountable. This is the same for the choices you’ve made this past year that guided you to where you are today. That is why I want you to focus carefully on your desires moving into 2017 and how you can strive to do better, make wiser decisions and have an even stronger outlook on your life.
This can all be done by taking accountability for your past and owning your decisions for the year ahead. Here are a few suggestions to help guide you on your way:
Start at home. Whether you live by yourself or have a family of four, your home should be a structured sanctuary filled with support and some kind of feeling of peace. Delete any unnecessary chaos or bills that are adding stress to your plate. Work at being a better communicator to your spouse, a more present parent to your children, or a leader when it comes to creating happiness within your home. Tell your family that you plan on doing so, too.
Say sorry. Every day, obstacles often make us react without thinking. Do you know that line, “What were you thinking when you weren’t thinking?” Well, if there is somebody in your life that deserves an apology, I suggest you put your pride to the side and make it happen. It may not have an impact today or tomorrow, but an apology does not have an expiration date. Your kindness and consideration are timeless.
Surround yourself with doers. People within your inner circle should inspire you, encourage you and bring drops of light into your life. Close the door on anyone that makes you feel poorly about yourself, is involved in bad habits or takes jabs at your dreams and sense of self. Furthermore, do your part this year to be a better friend, sister, brother, cousin, etc. Relationships are a two-way street, so treat others how you want to be treated.
Validate. The most important part of taking accountability in life also involves validating others on how your decisions or actions may have affected them. Look them in the eye and take notice of their feelings and emotions. Tell them you hear them, you see them and you will work on being better. In time, your actions will prove that. Validation is equally crucial when something good happens in your life, too. If others have helped you, acknowledge them and say thank you or write a card, but always express gratitude. Being humble and grateful are key steps to moving ahead successfully.
I deeply encourage you to make this upcoming year your most honest. What does an honest year mean? It means always being truthful about how you feel, what you want and what you don’t want. Do your very best to put your integrity stamp on every choice that you make. This year is full of new opportunities. It is your duty to yourself to make it different from all of the rest.
I believe in you and know you can!
Posted on January 1, 2017
My wish for you in 2017.
Posted on December 7, 2016
The month of November officially kicked off the holiday season. Truth be told, all eyes and ears were on the ever-so-exciting election that the days and months secretly snuck by us, and the smell of pumpkin pie suddenly started to fill the air.
For some of you, just the thought of traveling or being around family can increase your stress level and bring on those deep breaths of anxiety. Please kindly allow me to be more blunt; family parties and the holiday hustle can be a huge headache. I say that with love because it is indeed my favorite time of the year, but I also say that with a big gravy boat full of honesty. No matter how your carve it, studies have shown that the holidays can heighten stress and create a restlessness in your mood.
I challenge you to make this holiday season different and encourage you to make it your happiest and healthiest year yet. This can be done by simply adjusting your perspective, reflecting on your own personal growth and creating boundaries.
To make this challenge effective, you have to first come to the deep understanding that this is not about magically erasing all your family drama. That is simply not realistic because the only person you can control is yourself. Plus, life is full of uncertainty and unexpected moments, which again is completely out of your hands. The second point that you must consciously have on your radar is that there is no such thing as a perfect family. The word “perfect” puts too much pressure on any situation. No matter how big or small, every person you know is dealing with some kind of private family matter. Whether that is harboring childhood wounds, dealing with health issues, money problems, addiction, hurt feelings, etc. – the list goes on and on. But guess what? We’ve all been down one of those roads once or twice. So, I want you to let go of any perfect expectations and the idea that one family appears so much better compared to your own.
With that said, the most important point I suggest you concentrate on before the holidays arrive are your personal boundaries. What works for you may be different than what work for others. This is about you, your life and your individual happiness. Setting up your boundaries will mentally support you through those more challenging moments of holiday stress and surprises. Boundaries will also serve as a guide and keep you on track so that you have more peace within yourself and in your present surroundings.
I want you to take a few minutes to answer the below questions to ignite your thinking and bring your subconscious thoughts to the forefront. There are no right or wrong answers, but your wheels should start to turn and help you think about what it is you want to achieve in the next couple months.
What would make you most happy over the holiday season?
What people are involved in that scenario?
What environment do you feel the most comfortable in?
What kind of behavior do you want to stay away from?
Who in your family has shown you support and love?
Have you made a conscious effort to show kindness as well?
Do you engage in positive conversations and show interest?
What are the holidays supposed to be about?
What is different about you this year compared to last year?
Do you plan to give back or do something charitable during the holidays?
Take time to meditate and digest your answers. Once you’ve done that, you should begin to have a better vision and a sense of certainty of what your wish is for the holidays. That could be a balance between family time and time for yourself, or perhaps just time inventing your own tradition.
Whatever your decision is this holiday season, I hope you free your mind of any unnecessary thoughts that may trigger stressful thinking. The holidays are meant to be a joyous and relaxing time, but it is up to you to customize how you want to celebrate and recharge.
The Other Hubby
Don’t forget to follow @MattJacobi on Instagram!
Posted on December 5, 2016
Would we all feel the same way about Tuesday if Monday turned into a day off? Start your week with a more upbeat attitude!
The Other Hubby
Posted on December 2, 2016
I’m totally referring to the dog.
Wishing you all the happiest Friday.
The Other Hubby
Posted on November 28, 2016
“I wish I had this and I wish I had that. I wish I was this and I wish I were that.” No, that is not a line from Dr. Seuss or the latest rap lyric to hit the airwaves. It is the jumble of words that are used too often in our society. I feel like the sound of complaining is at full volume wherever you are these days. I find myself singing along to those negative tunes as well. So, I decided to give up complaining and was inspired to hit the stop button once and for all. I challenged myself for a whole week to not let out one peep of a complaint from my lips. It was not easy. However, when I did find myself getting frustrated or needing to vent, I trained my mind to immediately think of something that I could smile about. I tapped more into my gratitude bank and focused on whatever goodness was around me. Because, what I’ve learned most about this experience is that there is goodness in every corner. Even in the days that are filled with unexpected hiccups. You just have to look for it. Seeking the good within any moment is the secret to ending your complaining streak. So, when the Monday morning alarm clock went off, I focused on the aroma of the fresh brewed coffee, or when the downpour of rain hit, I thought about my plants on my patio needing water, or when my work days felt full of projects, I envisioned my upcoming vacation. I realized it is a conscious decision I must make every single day. Take it from me, choosing gratitude over complaining will only allow more goodness to fill your world.
The Other Hubby
Don’t forget to follow @MattJacobi on Instagram!
Posted on November 18, 2016
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