Saying I Love You First

The words, “I love you,” could possibly be the highest form of validation, deepest expression of feeling and most passionate statement one person can make to another.  The exchanging of the  “I love you” and “I love you too” dialogue can also be one of the biggest moments in ones relationship.

You may even look at it as a seal of emotional commitment to each other.  You are both making a big confirmation that you both feel the same way about each other on a higher level than just “liking” each other.

I have a lot to say about the whole “I love you” talk as you can probably imagine.  I know that everybody has a different situation but I am a firm believer that when it comes to saying those three special and powerful words, that a girl should wait for the man to say them first.

While sitting over a chopped salads at one of my favorite lunch spots in West Hollywood this week, I met with my friend, Nicole who has been dating her boyfriend from almost a year.  As of date, neither one of them have exchanged the “love” word to each other which has Nicole biting at the bit.   This weekend, the two are planning a mini getaway to Seattle to attend a friends wedding at a romantic hot spot just outside the city.  Nicole is set on dropping the love-bomb to her boyfriend sometime during the weekend.  As a guy who shows how he feels by my own facial expressions (when the botox does not get in the way), I was super shocked and she could read it all over my face.

When it came to relationships, I thought Nicole was an old school girl who let the guy do the talking.  She went on to explain, that her whole life she had always dated these macho guys that always said “I love you” first but this time around she wanted to do it for herself.  She was the one that needed to express how deep she was feeling whether he said it back or not.

The Dr. Phil part of me was dying to know if she was doing this to “test” the level of her boyfriends emotions too.  I mean, what better way to find out how your boyfriend thinks of you and the level of your relationship by seeing how he would react to the love bomb.  Nicole is a smart girl though, and is playing her cards right.  Her boyfriend slightly suffers from the lack of expressing his emotions so I think she feels if she said it first, than that would break the wall for him to get more comfortable.  Now, I am going to support my dear friend on her decision except that I think this weekend should be off limits.  Men get weird when they attend weddings in general, and trust me they are in tune with how girls think (when it comes to weddings).  Saying “I love you” first to your boyfriend on a wedding weekend may be too heavy for him.

Let’s take a look at a few points regarding this topic because it is a significant moment in a relationship.  If you are going to be the one in the relationship to say the love word first than I want you to own it and say it because that is deeply how you feel.

1.)  Timing Is Everything

Think about where you are in your relationship and the amount of time that you both have spent together.  Even the people that believe in love at first sight know that being patient  is one of the keys on a successful relationship.  Rushing into anything is never a good idea.  Allow yourself to get to know who you are dating first in all areas AND don’t “fall in love”  just for the idea of it.  I am not saying to create a timeline to say, “I love you,” rather simply suggesting to make sure you really know your guy.  Keep the world “love” close to your heart and only release it when you are 100% certain on your relationship and your guy.

tumblr_lyfkhjbHRL1r8la7go1_5002.)  Test It Out

If you are eager to tell your man, “I love you,” than I suggest dropping a few hints here and there to see how he reacts first.  Little love notes here and there can really give the the signal.  Even music can spell it out for him.  Test the waters first before sending the love ship to sea.   For all the girls that where their heart on their sleeve, this could be the way to go.  Also, Hallmark holidays such as Valentines Day can really help assist with this matter!  Wait to see how he expresses himself!

3.)  Own It

If you are going to take the gamble by telling him how much you love him first than be a big girl and own your emotion.  If it has been over a year and your man still has not told you he loves you and YOU want to say it, than say it.  Be confident in how you feel.  Say how you feel if it is going to make you feel a sense of release and you think it is time.

I am sure there are millions of relationships that work out picture perfect a girl has told her boyfriend, “I love you” first.  My point is that, men are not dumb dumbs.  They know that women want to hear the love word and know that is WHAT you say when you are in a long term-committed relationship.  Please be patient and keeps things organic.  Let your relationship flow at its own individual course.

xo

The Other Hubby

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