Let’s talk about the fourth date shall we? The first date we all know enough about, there has been tons of articles written on what to do on a first date. I even penciled in a few lines myself in my earlier blog posts (yeah, go ahead..take a peak in my archives section). The second date is just as exciting as the first but more comfortable and you already have a taste of what the chemistry is like between you and your new guy. Followed next is date three which is when things are supposed to get a little more hot and heavy. He touches your back when you walk in the door to the restaurant, he gives you more compliments, he knows where your from and what you do for a living. Than there is date number four which I believe is the make or break moment.
I just had a long phone conversation with my dear friend Anne. Anne is turning 30 years old this Summer and recently moved to downtown Philadelphia. She lives in the heart of the city where you can walk down the old cobblestone streets, take in the history and meet up with girlfriends for happy hour after work. That is exactly where she met Rick, a 36 year old banker who has the tall dark and handsome thing going for him. I know some of you girls out there are probably thinking, 36-male-handsome-single, what is wrong with him? Well, at first he hit all the right dating buttons. He took Anne to a very expensive restaurant off Chestnut Street where they dined over delicious homemade pasta and good first date conversations. The second date was just as strong, just another dinner date which followed by a gentle kiss on the lips after he walked her up the steps of her brownstone. A week later, Rick wanted Anne to meet some of his friends. The following Sunday afternoon, the new couple met up with Rick’s friends at a local sports bar to watch the Eagles play. Meeting your new guys friends is a big deal and it sure does prove that he wants to show you off. The only issue with date number three is that Anne really did not get much time to talk to Rick one on one. She was really looking forward to their next night together as she was not 100% on her feelings toward him.
Date 4 rolls around a week later and Anne is still having wishy washy feelings about Rick. Although, Anne thinks Rick is a good looking guy, she just was not feeling the chemistry. Anne even started to pick apart the little things about Rick, almost like she was trying to reassure herself why she did not like him. For example, the way he chewed his food, his weird “Tigger” tattoo, etc. Listen up Ladies, if you are not into a guy, you are not into a guy. It is really that simple so don’t over analyze whyyyyyyyyy.
This is where my explanation of why Date 4 is so important. The first three dates are all about the excitement, nerves, and first impressions. For some of you, it may only take the first date to decide if you are into him or not, but if you are a girl that likes to “feel things out,” than I suggest you make it to the fourth date and decide than. It is enough time to digest and see if the connection is there and earlier enough to cut the cord without having too much emotion attached. It is totally OK if you lose the excitement and all that new dating buzz comes to an end. That is why I like to call the fourth date, the “Expiration Date.” You will either step it up a notch with your new guy or things may just expire! The key is to LISTEN to your emotions.
For all my single girls out there, please remember to take your time with dating. When the right guy comes along, you won’t even need to think so hard about it. When you know, you know! Be patient and don’t settle! Love will come your way.
The Other Hubby