The one year mark in a relationship is BIGGIE and for some couples could also be a major crossroad down the smooth dating drive. Yes, it can be a quick pit stop at the love-tollbooth where your relationship can either catapult into a happy and solid zone or or send ya down a detour of confusion and a whole bunch of “what the fuck’s?!”
After 12 months of dating the guy you have been crushing over, introducing to your close friends, and chatting for hours about with your coworker, the final countdown to the year anniversary can be a build up of anxiety. The question is, does it have to be?
For the pair of lovebirds that have been doing the long distance relationship-bit for almost a year, this is usually the time when one person starts to say, “Ok, so which one of us is moving?” In order to start building up a solid foundation and to reassure each other that this relationship is moving forward somebody is going to have to move.
Usually, it is the person who has the least stable job (or most flexible), but who ever is not doing the moving must be a good partner in making sure the one relocating feels 100% comfortable and completely welcome. Especially, if he/she is moving into your own home! That means make room, be grateful and extremely accommodating. The whole point of doing a long distance relationship (like a real legit one – not some bi-coastal fuck buddy situation) is like any other dating experience, you feel it out and if there is a spark it can turn into something permanent.
One of the reasons why I recommend long distance relationships is because you are able to cut out a lot of that dating shit, give each other space, work on your independence, keep the passion exciting, and continue to establish the one big thing every relationship needs – TRUST.
If two people can date long distance for one year, develop a solid connection, platform, trust each other and WANT THE SAME THINGS than they are set to head down a long harmonious journey together! It takes courage and an open mind but I always say THE BIGGER THE LIFE RISK – THE BIGGER THE REWARD. If more people were willing to take risks, I think the happier and more fulfilled they would be.
Now, the shitty part that comes with dating on opposite sides of the country (besides the extra costs – flights can be really expensive!). When the flavor of the relationship starts to get uber serious when the year anniversary goes by, it can bring out an array of emotions. The first thing that probably comes to mind is, “why are we STILL spending nights miles and miles and miles apart??!”
Yes, love-bugs – after one year, it is time to combine forces and get SERIOUS. A healthy relationship, one that will have longevity, can only happen if the couple is actually spending time TOGETHER (a couple long weekends a month does not count).
So, if you are currently in a long distance relationship and your one year anniversary is coming up, I suggest you sit down with your lover and discuss what the both of you want. Relationships and compromise go together so come up with a good medium where the both of you are happy (and your love continues to go UP!).
For all you fabulous couples that are local, this is going to sound like a breeze because the two of you can continue doin your THANG without having to move out of state. heavy decisions. Most couples get really excited when the one year anniversary hits because it validates how much you love each other and that you both put in the right amount of energy to make it work!
Check out some things that every couple should start thinking about after being together for a year.
1.) The L word. Has he said “I love you” yet? If he has not said it by now than your dude has got some serious hang ups. After a year, he should know if he loves you or not.
2.) Meeting the parents. It is definitely time to meet the two people who could possibly become your future in-laws.
3.) Start planning a vacation together.
4.) Think about spending the holidays together, even if that means you won’t be seeing your own for Thanksgiving.
5.) Start to think about the long haul. Yes, I am talking about engagement and marriage. It does not have to happen any time soon but if you are investing years into a relationship, you better seal the deal one day!
The Other Hubby
(Follow @MattJacobi on Twitter & Instagram)