Thoughts on the dating and marriage topic is one of those spectrums where the female and male brain seem to have the most contrast.
I have spent a lot of time observing newer relationships and newlyweds that seem to struggle on getting things off to a smooth start.
Take a looksy at some key scenarios that appear to trigger a couple to fight.
Maybe I can help put things into perspective for you.
1.) Asking to pick up a long list of groceries on their way home from work.
Alright, let me break this down for you. I think most people like to shut their brain off after working 8 hours at a job they probably don’t really love. They hate traffic, rush hour, and the routine of working 9 to 5, so asking them to go to the grocery store at the busiest time of the day probably puts them in a mood.
The last thing anyone wants is to be interrogated so if you are inquiring about something, consider the timing, approach and tone.
Both men and women like to be recognized for their good deeds. For example, they like a little validation and acknowledgement when the house is cleaned, the kids were fed, the grass was cut, the oil was changed, the dishwasher was unloaded, the bills were paid, etc. Give a little “thank you” when you notice these such things.
Have you ever just wanted the weekend off but to only find out your lover planned a dinner with friends you are just not that into? How about that sudden surprise on Saturday morning that you have to entertain that night? Make sure you ask your wife, husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend what their thoughts are for the weekend too. They may have a completely different agenda than what you are thinking so take the five minutes to ask what works for them too.
One of my number one rules is to let the love between your partnership be organic. There are too many people out there that rush into marriage, having a kids, buying a house, etc. The more pressure you put on, the more disappointment and likelihood your relationship is going to fail. You don’t want he or she to feel like their were pushed up against a mental wall.
6.) Assuming what the other one is thinking.
How many times have you heard he/she say, “Well, I thought that is what you wanted?” If you really want to know how the other person is doing, thinking or feeling – just ask. If you are too afraid to ask than there is probably a bigger issue.
7.) Getting locked into a routine.
Does your life feel like it is on a time table? You don’t want your relationship to get stale from doing the same activities, going to the same places, eating the same things, watching the same shows, over and over again.
8.) Technology drama.
Ugh. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, emails and especially text messages cause so much shit. Somebody is either getting jealous, doing something stupid, “liking” a picture they shouldn’t, or misinterpreting a message. Try limiting your time on social media AND pick up the phone to talk.xo
The Other Hubby