I have a friend named Sara that has an incredibly hard time keeping her inner fireball under wraps. When Sara gets pissed off – you know it!! She has the people around her running for the hills whenever she is having a bad day.
Nobody wants to be around her when she acts that way.
Not only is Sara’s heated mood frightening, she also has a terrible time communicating in general. Sara blows up like a volcano when she becomes frustrated over the smallest things.
Anger and poor communication skills go hand in hand – no shocker there!
Why do so we act like wild animals at times?
1.) Take Time To Marinate.
If you are fighting with a close friend, family member, or coworker, try to take a moment to digest your initial reaction. Sometimes the first response that pops into our heads is not always the best response. Allow your thoughts to sizzle down before reacting immediately. Timing is everything. Give your thoughts to cool down.
2.) Sleep on it.
Take a couple days (just a couple) to sleep on the issues that have been brewing in your head. In the heat of the moment, whatever is going on may seem like a huge deal. But, after your mind and body have rested – it may not seem as important.
3.) Let it out.
Many times people lash out at others when they are not in a conscious state of peace in their life. It can be an even bigger issue if you keep all your emotions inside. Anger can even be suppressed. When you eventually have the right “opportunity” to let it all out, it can be very forceful and directed at the wrong person. You are basically, redirecting your anger onto others which can come off very mean spirited. Unexpressed anger can create a whole other bunch of problems for your health so it is better to release all those bottled up emotions and speak your mind.
4.) Don’t be defensive.
Communicating is difficult for many people especially when it comes to talking about your own feelings. When anger is involved and you are trying to communicate your side of the story, it can come off very defensive. The goal for you is to not be too guarded or like you are being attacked. My first piece of advice is to listen carefully to criticism, don’t let your adrenaline kick in. Take a PAUSE. Secondly, always be honest with yourself and remember the truth is always the best answer. People may judge you or have a completely different opinion but the truth is what matters. If you have confidence in yourself and believe in yourself than turn all that outside noise off. Accept that others may never see eye to eye with you and be ok to disagree. Not everything is always going to be perfect.
5.) Let it roll off.
One of the most important things I learned when filming a reality show is to not take things too personally. What matters at the end of the day is how you feel. If you get into an argument, try not to blow up right away. Learn to let the little things just roll off your back.
6.) Avoid trigger words.
Try switching up the ol’ vocab and avoid using words like “never” when talking about yourself or others. Statements like “this never works” triggers anger and leaves no room for a solution.
7.) Surround yourself with happy peeps.
Nobody likes a Downer Debbie or an Angry Annie so hang around people that are going to support you rather than tear you down or stir up drama.
8.) Laughter can be the best tool.
Try to defuse a heated argument with humor. Don’t be sarcastic but rather use your humor as a tool to not take things so seriously.
The Other Hubby