Here is the thing: I am not crazy about early mornings, but I really love waking up to a warm cup of coffee especially when it’s handed to me by my boyfriend. I know that sounds like a sentence from a Nicholas Sparks novel, but it is something that really ignites and kicks off my morning into a positive place.
What makes this cup of coffee even more delicious is when he says, “Here is the best tasting cup of coffee in the world.” Now, he is no barista in the kitchen. I would actually say the kitchen is not really his friend. But when he adds positive words like “the best tasting,” it not only excites me but makes me feel like I am really going to enjoy the greatest cup of coffee on the planet. That happy energy and simple uplifting exchange is something that puts a smile on my face before I dive into my workday.
It got me thinking about the words we use in our daily life, and how one or two words can really affect our delivery and the way our brain reacts, thinks and engages with another person or even are own self. If I were to come to you and say, “Have nice day,” does that have or give the same affect as if I were to say, “I hope you have the greatest day, you are going to rock it?”
I find it interesting that it only takes the simplest of changes in our vocabulary or tone of voice to make the biggest change in the way our mind reacts and our attitudes change. Like many of you out there, I am a big believer we have the ability to go from having a challenging moment to having an even brighter and better day by doing small steps following a hiccup or negative experience. Changing your attitude into a sense of pure happiness may seem like a total stretch, especially after a flat tire, work issue, relationship problem or family drama. I get how those conflicts are not easy for some people to do a quick turn around, but if you concentrate on the little aspects of your communication, the way you say things and words you use to yourself and others, then I believe it will allow you the opportunity for a more positive outlook on your day.
Avoid Negative Words & Phrases
For starters, some words that I would avoid using, especially in difficult moments that we may not even be conscious of at the time, include:
with my luck
probably won’t happen
I don’t know but…
It’s words and phrases like these that can actually leave your mind on a desert island of negativity and confusion rather than subconsciously guiding you into a state of confidence, courage and can-do attitude. You should have a more powerful sense of conviction in your words and beliefs such as:
This is what I am going to do
I am going to get through this
What I am going to do next
I can handle this!
This also relates to text messages and emails you write. It can be difficult to tell the tone of an email, but most of the time you should be able to feel out if someone is in a good mood, being short or simply can’t be bothered. I always suggest starting an email with a quick and kind introduction, with a similar ending. Do you begin your emails with, “Good afternoon” or “How are you?” It shows the recipient of your email that you are approaching from a positive place, validating their day and that you have good ol’ fashioned manners. It is easier to make a point in an email or make your feelings noted when you are not on the defense or coming at a person with a harsh vibe. It is possible to be direct, firm, with politeness.
How often do you send text messages to your spouse that say, “What time will you be home from work?” To me, such a text does not sound very caring (especially to someone you really love). If you added, “Hi, hope you had a great day, do you know what time you will be home from work?” I guarantee that approach will be more impactful, come off with a higher sense of thoughtfulness and will set the evening into a more happier place. Everybody wants to feel acknowledged especially after a long workday or an hour sitting in traffic, so why not adjust your delivery by adding a few extra words of kindness? It will only allow for a more courteous exchange, which should feed into the other person’s feelings. Feelings and emotions are the root of how we communicate, so why not use words that help boost and continue a smoother way of talking to each other.
I challenge all of you to start your day tomorrow (or after you are done reading this!) by using stronger and higher vibrating words in your communication at home, work, online and even when you are thinking to yourself. We all know that words matter and have a measure of strength behind them. But, it is the words that are encouraging, engaging and uplifting which are most significant.
With that said, I wish you the happiest of all days. You are fantastic.
Gratitude and Peace,