Don’t Hate On Love

I am a sucker when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Please forgive me for loving a day that is filled with chocolate heart boxes, cupid shaped cards, and stunning red roses. The balloons, the candlelit dinners, the lovey-dovey messages… it all totally gets my heart beating. I can fully admit that I turn to utter mush when it comes to anything romance. Romance is my kryptonite, and it always has been.

For all you single peeps out there, let me first stop you from clicking to another article or turning your eyes to something else on the Internet. I can help you out. Please allow me to inspire you with a small dose of my “gay best friend” words of wisdom for a moment. You see, I clearly know that Valentine’s Day is not all about that fluffy pink and red commercial stuff, and if you read up on the history regarding this holiday, than you will understand that the overall essence is derived from the celebration of love. So, whether you are newly single, recently-dumped, divorced, widowed, or not looking for love, I am here to tell you there is an “A-ha light bulb” lesson to be learned from Valentine’s Day and the way you react to it.

As I’ve mentioned, for those of you out there that are not locked up in a relationship, please know my goal is to not turn you off. That is actually quite the contrary, as my wish for you this Valentine’s Day is to open your mind to the greater picture and why responding negatively when February 14th rolls around is not doing you any favors.

I’ve obviously been alone on Valentine’s Day before (we’ve all been there), and it is not “the best” feeling in the world. I completely understand how you would not be jumping out of bed with the sudden urge to shout your happiness from the tallest mountaintop. I am not asking you to do that or overexert yourself into making this pro-couple date your favorite day of the year. However, over time I have noticed that a lot of people go out of their way to hate on it. You’ve seen those not-so-nice Facebook posts, the snarky articles, cheeky Instagram quotes, and probably know of a few family members and friends that absolutely despise Valentine’s Day. I believe that changing your reaction and emotion into a more civilly compassionate mindset will reflect a higher feeling of positive energy from within yourself and into your everyday life.

Take a peak at a few insightful tips on how being a hater on this holiday is not the right attitude or helping your path to having a healthy relationship of your own.

Complaining Gets You Nowhere

Bitter Betty’s party of one? Your table is ready. What is moaning and complaining going to do or change in making your Valentine’s Day any better? Saying “I’m single once again this year” is consciously sending a signal to your brain to feel depressed. Instead of concentrating on what you don’t have (like a significant other), why not affirm that you woke up healthy, with a job, friends, family and a purpose for life. You know that famous quote, “Gratitude turns what you have into enough…” well post it on your bathroom mirror that day. Having gratitude for the areas of your life that are working out great should be a given. A partner to share them with only heightens that feeling of gratitude. So, for right now replace your complaining with being grateful.

Don’t Hate on Happiness

If seeing other couples happy makes you ill, then you’ve got a bigger problem than just Valentine’s Day. Being jealous, envious, and giving the evil eye to other people for being in a relationship shows that you have some kind of anger issue to conquer. You should want to see other people in happy situations.

Truly, grounded people only wish goodness for others. Besides, relationships and marriage is a whole other job. Instead of hating on them, why not give them an imaginary “thumbs up” for finding each other and making it work. You may be surprised by how your mind feels when you say, “Good for them!” to “Ugh, get a room!”

Avoid the “Why Not Me?” Questions

True love really rocks, and I think everyone deserves to experience the feeling of it. If you are asking yourself, “Why am I single?” I challenge you to ask yourself, “Am I happy?” instead. People are attracted to happiness and success. And by success, I mean living a life where you feel fulfilled and that you have a sense of purpose. People pick up on that emotion. So, if there is something that is bringing you down in life, why not first concentrate on changing that. That situation may be what is subconsciously pulling you away from expressing and showing that you are at a point of peace in your life. In order to accept love into your life, you need to actually love what is happening in your daily life.

Don’t Give Up

If you are a real believer in love, then don’t make Valentine’s Day be about “not having” someone. If you are receptive and open to being in love, than you will have it one day. It is not about “finding” it, it is about love coming into your life at the right moment. Don’t allow outside negativity to cloud your belief and dreams when it comes to loving another person. If you want it, if you are ready for it, it will enter your life.

I am going to close this article with something my boyfriend and I will be thinking about this Valentines Day as it truly captures the hearts of many people. This year was historic for America. After the Supreme Court Ruling on marriage equality this summer, it allowed for each and everyone one of us to celebrate love legally. Think about how special this Valentine’s Day is going to be for so many people this year. Whether married or not, they can now celebrate each other more openly. For those couples that never felt recognized or validated in years past, I hope you make this Valentine’s Day the most loving yet!

And, for everyone else out there that wants love in their life, please never stop believing in love. I hope your perspective on Valentine’s Day is seen as not just a couple’s holiday, but as a day where the power of love is celebrated.

From my heart to yours,

Matt Jacobi

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